I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
