At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize