so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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