apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
