Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
