She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize