About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
