i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it's like iHOP with fire
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
