I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
