i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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