I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
