saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
