just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize