You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
