he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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