I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
