If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
