The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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