did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
