Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
