just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
