are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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