I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize