I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
