When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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