Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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