Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
