dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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