he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
