What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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