erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just pee around me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
