is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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