Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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