You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
