Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
