Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
