Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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