Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.