Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  return my video game

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  (989): return my video game http://tfl.nu/7gzq
  Replies (14) Good night (1168) Bad night (2248)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  wtf you measured my hair?

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  (604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1
  Replies (20) Good night (1468) Bad night (4614)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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  (910): I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/zk0y
  Replies (14) Good night (1282) Bad night (4191)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way

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  (786): He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way http://tfl.nu/nq2f
  Replies (26) Good night (5785) Bad night (1688)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.

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  (785): Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both. http://tfl.nu/00se
  Replies (11) Good night (1156) Bad night (3944)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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  (207): He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice. http://tfl.nu/mmqq
  Replies (12) Good night (4892) Bad night (1808)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis

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  (212): It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis http://tfl.nu/3xfb
  Replies (13) Good night (2646) Bad night (1342)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2928) Bad night (893)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  ... that would be easier though.

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  (+45): The world isn't going to end because you slept with him! (+45): ... that would be easier though. http://tfl.nu/hysm
  Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (911)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

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  (303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy
  Replies (8) Good night (1735) Bad night (899)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?

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  (832): I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went? http://tfl.nu/hldx
  Replies (8) Good night (750) Bad night (1381)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see

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  (503): i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours (1-503): I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see http://tfl.nu/4plr
  Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(

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  (832): i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :( http://tfl.nu/r8m8
  Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (440)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.

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  (340): Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly. http://tfl.nu/jqvi
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.

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  (810): if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long. http://tfl.nu/qna0
  Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (169)

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