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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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• (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (585): View more from New York

  I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.

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