Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

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  (714): First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance? http://tfl.nu/zhuo
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (2049)
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  (518): View more from New York

  At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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  (518): At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with http://tfl.nu/oe7q
  Replies (13) Good night (915) Bad night (3708)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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  (478): closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college. http://tfl.nu/w89j
  Replies (17) Good night (4298) Bad night (614)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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  (325): suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea http://tfl.nu/q0e7
  Replies (21) Good night (937) Bad night (4621)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (2953)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  even the AIR tastes like tequila.

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  (910): even the AIR tastes like tequila. http://tfl.nu/sty9
  Replies (4) Good night (3074) Bad night (852)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

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  (641): Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well http://tfl.nu/dscc
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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  (306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1150) Bad night (434)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic

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  (601): Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic http://tfl.nu/3mbn
  Replies (4) Good night (1042) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  That's not what Jesus is for

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  (207): When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck. (1-207): That's not what Jesus is for http://tfl.nu/8stw
  Replies (20) Good night (2468) Bad night (635)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?

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  (302): Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech? http://tfl.nu/c3aa
  Replies (23) Good night (941) Bad night (2031)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Does the room smell any better?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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  (606): Does the room smell any better? (859): Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless. http://tfl.nu/3ric
  Replies (12) Good night (1010) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.

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  (832): I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket. http://tfl.nu/lg7t
  Replies (2) Good night (270) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat

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  (240): How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat http://tfl.nu/bfcr
  Replies (4) Good night (294) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight

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  (214): Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/7wsd
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (183)

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