Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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