I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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