Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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