I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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