Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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