Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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