I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
