I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
