My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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