One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
