Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
