You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
