When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
