he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
