I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
