home. puking in laundry basket.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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