return my video game
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
