You work out of a Hotel?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
