when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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