You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
