Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize