Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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