Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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