I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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