dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
