Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
