everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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